Reflections of a Pregnant Church

reflection pregnancy church

I can feel myself stretching. There is tension in my skin, and soreness in my breasts as they usher life in. I am enlarging the space inside of myself; This Body made up of so many parts. They were all comfortable, all had their roles; An eye as an eye and an ear as an…

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Why Taking Prenatal Vitamins is an Act of Faith

pregnancy after loss

Because you’ve been down this road before, when the line turned more and more pink, leaving you without a shadow of a doubt: you’re pregnant. Because you’re struck by the wildness of it all — nearly a year since the miscarriage. . . and this?? Because you’d finally settled into contentment, not the restless back…

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No Breaks in a Broken System: Common Horizon Excerpt

working mom hurdles

We sit in a small office off the main hallway. The insurance representative is pulling all the forms for me, the new hire at a medical records office. He spots the ring on my finger, my grandmother’s diamond newly set in the band. “Married?” he casually asks. “No. We are thinking of moving the date…

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Waiting for Resurrection: Depression and Pregnancy

depression in pregnancy

I’m lying flat on my back in a hospital examination room, acid reflux burning in my throat. A polite male doctor scans my protruding belly as I stare at the graying tiles on the ceiling while praying hard and fast, “Please be okay. Please be okay.” It was a routine appointment until my 34-week bump…

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Everyday Sacrament Excerpt

mother's body given for you

This Is My Body, Given for You When the hour came, he took his place at the table, and the apostles with him…Then he took a loaf of bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body, which is given for you. Do this…

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Fighting For Our Lives

birth racial trauma

“I am very frustrated. I don’t understand why you can’t just be confident in our care!” My perinatal specialist yelled these words to me when I was around 24 weeks pregnant with quadruplets. Why? Because I was asking her questions about what my children’s birth might look like. Up to this point, no one had…

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Complicated Joy

pregnancy complicated joy

For all of the beauty found in celebrating the liturgical year, I find that marking milestones by these holy seasons and rituals has a tendency to make whatever experience that much more intense and emotional for me. Pregnancy announcements during Advent—potent. Witnessing conversion and Baptism at Easter Vigil—stick a fork in me. Gifts of selflessness…

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As A Mother Comforts Her Child

I was not excited when I found out I was pregnant. In fact, I remember staring at the five pregnancy tests in our tiny apartment in Texas trying very unsuccessfully to not fall in a panic attack. All I could think as I saw that plus sign in front of me was, “I can’t do…

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When You Do Not Want To Give Thanks

It’s been a hard month, hasn’t it? In our small corner, it was the shock of twins. The exhaustion of early pregnancy. The darkness of morning sickness. And the upheaving of expectations. But in the wider world, it was Paris and Beirut and Syria and so many million more places where the earth is broken and…

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in which we are all (begrudgingly) images of God

I do not like the experience of pregnancy. There. I said it. I like the fact of being pregnant. I love the gift of life, the sheer blessedness of getting to bring a child into this world. I love the answer to prayer brought by pregnancy after infertility and miscarriage, the undeserved grace that this…

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40 weeks: God’s womb & mine

The baby is nine and a half months old. I could say I don’t know where the time flew, but I do. Newborn blur, life with two littles, the months when he stopped sleeping, the months when we started moving. Since his arrival on this spinning planet, we’ve been whirling fast. But the nine month…

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seasons of infertility, years later

“Oh, honey!” She shrieked as she came running towards us, nightgown flapping. “Look at you!” I smiled, the meager smile of a large pregnant woman, bracing herself to hear the usual round of “you’re due when?!” or “you’re sure it’s not twins?” Be nice, I admonished myself. She’s a sweet neighbor. Let the comments be. But…

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