Posts Tagged ‘Grief’
you can imagine. let me help you.
As newly bereaved parents, we hear this all the time. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling. I can’t imagine what this is like. I can’t imagine. I understand this sentiment completely. People want to be respectful of the terrible loss we have experienced. They don’t want to assume that…
Read MoreThe Hardest and Holiest of Weeks
Thin places. The ancient Celts gave us this phrase to capture the feeling of space and time when heaven and earth are scarcely separated. My life has held a handful of these sacred moments and holy grounds. I imagine yours has, too. I always recognized these encounters in space and time by their sheerness—the sense that I…
Read Morethe empty due date
I wrote this on the anniversary of the due date that wasn’t. I wasn’t going to share it here. Then I was reminded that we all carry our handful of hard days each year: the death of a loved one, the anniversary of an accident, the memory of a loss, the date of a tragedy. If we…
Read Morethe trash tells the story
A month ago I ran into a friend as we were both rushing into church from the whipping winter wind. She held the door for me, and I sprinted inside, breathing steam. As we shivered in the entryway, trying to warm up, she said, “Oh! I meant to tell you – I read your book. I…
Read MoreMorbid? Motherhood & Mortality
“Mommy, I don’t want to die.” His big blue eyes stare up at me, full of—what? Worry? Seriousness? Wonder? We’ve been revisiting this conversation for months, variations on a theme: Mommy, I don’t want to go to be with God. Mommy, I want to live to be 100. Mommy, I don’t want you to die.…
Read Morefor all our children. tonight and always
This post was supposed to be about children. All weekend I had these wonderful thoughts running through my head. About how much I adore the age of four: how he appears in our doorway in the dark dawn hour, hair tousled from sleep, beloved seahorse cradled in his arm, ready to climb in bed with…
Read Morethe gossamer veil
Spring. I remember standing in the window of our new bedroom, staring out across lush green trees to glimpse the sparkling lake across the street. The clouds were cream and billowy in the sweet blue sky, and I caught my breath to think I could wake up to such loveliness every morning. And then I…
Read Moreon carrying and missing
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. We’d planned it perfectly. A baby in early spring, before work got too busy and the summer too hot. The worst of the morning sickness would be passed in time for the holidays, and I could curl up on the couch for football season in the fall when…
Read Morethe sheer aliveness of tonight
My children seemed even smaller today, even more fragile and fleeting. The whole day shifted, slanted towards helpless with the news from Newtown. Everything felt ugly and overwhelming and exhausting, like being punched in the chest, the core of my heart. What to say or do or think in the face of horror, of violence…
Read MoreAsh Wednesday: Every Parent’s Nightmare
Last night I lingered in a long line of blinking tail lights to turn into the parking lot. I wondered about the growing crowds at each year’s Ash Wednesday services. What packs the pews this evening every Lent? As I waited, I thought of four young girls killed in a weekend car crash. Freshmen roommates, victims…
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