The loss of a child is a devastating grief. Mothers often grieve silently. If we have other living children, our lives are still full with their needs. If we do not, the world does not see us as a mother. Either way, we are often urged—even by well-meaning friends or family—to keep our grief quiet and hidden. But our love is enormous. So we cry in the shower or wail into the closet. We mourn alone: in the car, on a run, in the pew or at the grave. We learn to put on a bright face, because the world cheers bravery. We rarely get the chance to sit with our grief and stare it full in the face. To learn from the lessons our love still waits to teach us. To bring our whole selves to God—in love, in anger, in doubt, in hope. To discover more of the mystery of faith within the pain and paradox of loss. To honor the holy, hard, heartbreaking truth that we will always be a mother of the child we lost, even if no one else knows their name. Over the years I have listened … [Read more...] about An Oasis for the Grieving
a Lenten retreat with the Myrrhbearers
Myrrhbearers is a mouthful of a word. It makes you pause in wonder. What could it hold? How could it hold you? I discovered the Myrrhbearers from the Magi. As I worked on my Epiphany retreat, I delighted in digging down theological rabbit holes. Researching the meaning of myrrh was one I couldn’t resist. What was the symbolism of the gifts the magi brought? Where did myrrh come from? What was it used for? Suddenly a strange word appeared on my screen: Myrrhbearers. Icons and imagery abounded, showing the holy women who brought oil and spices to the tomb to anoint Jesus’ body. I dove into the rich tradition of Orthodox Christianity around the Myrrhbearers, and how this group of saints is honored each Easter. But beyond the history and art and spirituality, the word itself grabbed me. The more I learned about the Myrrhbearers, the more I saw the word as a gift in itself. I wanted to dwell with it and dive into the stories of the women and men who bear this holy name. … [Read more...] about a Lenten retreat with the Myrrhbearers
prayer poems for you
I've been sharing these prayer poems on social media recently. Readers asked if I'd save them so they could send to others. Here they are, for you. Do we ever stop to considerthat they might be longing for us, too—the ones we love and miss?On this side our longing is called griefand soaked in sorrow,but their love is called joy—which wants everyone to join. They may not count down the chronos we number,for they know the kairos that is beyond time.But once in a while when I feel their presence,I also feel their pulling—the eagerness to offer to anotherthe best you have and know. I wonder about the beatific vision—if their lives are consumed now by gazing at God,what space or time could they haveto think of us?But holy remembering brings full presence(and I have tasted this truth)so I wonder if by beholding Godthey also get to behold what God loves(which is us). If life in death is changed, not endedand if love cannot die (as the best stories tell us)then I fear we have … [Read more...] about prayer poems for you
let’s retreat together for Epiphany
Happy New Year! We're on the cusp of change, one of my favorite places to be. While turning the calendar to 2021 won't miraculously bring peace or healing, I do love fresh starts and new beginnings. So I pray this new year will bring true goodness and lasting joy in the days and weeks to come. Because I'm a lover of New Year's, I always want to spend this time in prayer and reflection. Like many of you, I'm craving connection and conversation in the midst of life at home. So as I prepared for what January might bring, I dreamt up the idea of a virtual retreat. Epiphany: A New Year's Retreat will come to you in the comfort of your own home from January 7-10, 2021. Find out more here. Together we’ll explore the beginning of the Gospel of Matthew: surprising dreams, unexpected visitors, turbulent times, and life-changing callings. These Scripture stories will come alive in new ways as we bring them to prayer, reflecting on our own lives, questions, and challenges. The … [Read more...] about let’s retreat together for Epiphany
