Morning sickness is awful. At best it's a nuisance for a few weeks; at worst it's debilitating for months. I've had both scenarios, so my sympathies leap out to any expectant mother who suffers. I've written ad nauseam (haha) about morning sickness: All over this blog. For example, "In Which We Are All - Begrudgingly - Images of God" and "'Morning' (Ha) Sickness" In my book Everyday Sacrament: The Messy Grace of Parenting: You are a whisper of a whirl curled up deep in my belly. The hormonal soup in which you swim makes me nauseous at all hours of the day. I choke down crackers when I wake, throw up in the sink before breakfast, and pull over at gas stations to get sick on the drive to work. I collapse on the couch before sunset most evenings, too tired to drag myself to bed. I am three months pregnant. This is my body, given for you. Read more of Everyday Sacrament here... And my favorite nauseous reflection, The Magnificat: Mary's Morning Sickness Prayer: Maybe Mary … [Read more...] about a prayer for morning sickness
I do not like the experience of pregnancy. There. I said it. I like the fact of being pregnant. I love the gift of life, the sheer blessedness of getting to bring a child into this world. I love the answer to prayer brought by pregnancy after infertility and miscarriage, the undeserved grace that this is how our story turned out. I love the overwhelming abundance of a healthy pregnancy, knowing that – for now – everything looks good with the baby growing within me. But I hate the way I feel and think and act while pregnant. I hate morning sickness that drags months beyond what every expert tells you is “normal.” I hate taking medicine merely to function beyond the overwhelming nausea. I hate the exhaustion that sends me to bed at 8:30 most nights. I hate the nagging back pain and the chronic discomfort and the unmentionable side effects. I hate how big I get so quickly, how eyebrows raise when I tell my due date because it doesn’t fit anyone’s mental math of how I must be … [Read more...] about in which we are all – begrudgingly – images of God
Yesterday I made a shocking discovery. (For a book-lover, that is.) I was rummaging through my bookshelves, trying to find something for work. When I suddenly realized that I had completely failed myself. I hadn't organized a single book I'd read since I became a mom. Allow me to back up for a minute. Of course I've shelved all the books I own. (It took us months longer to get settled into this new house when we moved with two teeny kids, but I did manage to get that essential unpacking done in short order.) And of course, the book geek in me did find time to arrange by genre: all the theological tomes together on one towering bookshelf in my office, fiction on another, poetry and art history on a third, and old French paperbacks (and even a few of my husband's books I let him sneak in) on the fourth. Perfect, right? Wrong. Because here's the full geeky truth: the only way I really want my books arranged is autobiographical. (When John Cusack whispered that same line about his … [Read more...] about what i’ve been reading lately
Last night before dinner I stole a few minutes while the quiche was cooking to cut up melon for tomorrow's breakfast. The evening news hummed along on the radio, and the boys played peacefully on the porch. I savored the clean slice of chef's knife into cantaloupe. For one of those rare moments, everything around me rested calm and content. But little ones can hear the sound of silence; it's the most seductive siren they know. Sure enough I turned back to my cutting board to find the smallest helper had shoved over a chair from the table and was ready to help. "What you doing, Mama?" he asked, bouncing where he stood. "Cutting melon. Do you want to eat some?" "No. I want to hold it," he insisted, pointing at the half melon waiting on the counter. "Really? You can try to hold it if you want, but it's big - be careful." (Always with our warnings. As if we could rescue them from falls and spills and snares by words alone.) He lunged for the melon's slick surface, its round face … [Read more...] about this is heavy. but we are also strong.