Last week we watched Irma, that swirling monster of a storm, with twisted stomachs and sick hearts. Friends we love live in Florida. We wanted them to be safe, their homes to stay dry, their schools and workplaces untouched. We read their anxious updates, prayed for protection, watched the weather forecast. It looked like the worst was coming. And then the storm turned. Everyone we know is ok. I am deeply grateful for this fact. And I am secretly jealous. Because this is the path I thought our story would take. It looks bad, it’s looking worse, dear God it looks absolutely horri – oh wait! Everything is fine. He came through surgery. Her chemo shrunk the tumor. They were able to have a baby. He didn’t end up on that plane. No one was home when the tree fell. The doctor was wrong. She beat the odds. Rehab worked. His job was safe. The driver swerved. Their twins survived. Instead, our hurricane gained strength. It swirled and churned and everyone prayed and prayed … [Read more...] about when the hurricane hits
TTTS
the dark side of light
Listen closely. What I have to say is just as important - if not more - than this story. The one that started it all. And brought so many of you here. Every single story has a dark side. And the dark side of the unexpected joy we found during Abby's death - it matters just as much as the light. Remember that father who came up to us in the parking lot after Mass? The one who teared up when he shared his own loss of a daughter to stillbirth? Right before he turned to go, he added one last thing. Perhaps the most important thing. He said, "After I heard your story, I turned to my wife and asked, 'What did we miss? Why didn't we feel like that when we lost our daughter?'" Standing in the freezing cold parking lot, March wind whipping around my hair, tired kids pulling on my arms to hurry up and get in the car, I saw that this stranger had shown me the dark side of the light. Why didn't we feel like that? . . . Grammar can help to clarify. We did nothing to "earn" the … [Read more...] about the dark side of light
the hardest and holiest of weeks
Thin places. The ancient Celts gave us this phrase to capture the feeling of space and time when heaven and earth are scarcely separated. My life has held a handful of these sacred moments and holy grounds. I imagine yours has, too. I always recognized these encounters in space and time by their sheerness - the sense that I could simply reach out and touch a Presence that I did not feel elsewhere. Where walls once stood solid and strong between here and heaven, everything collapsed for a brief, beautiful instant. Holy Week has often been a thin place for me. One year I suffered a deep hurt during these days and had to start a long learning of what it means to forgive. Another year someone I love came to a point of crisis in this week, and I had to witness another kind of suffering unfold too close to home. Over time I have journeyed through these days inside and out. Trying to make sense of the stories we tell of death and resurrection. Trying to make sense of my … [Read more...] about the hardest and holiest of weeks
a eulogy for maggie and abby
People often lament that while there is a word for those who have lost parents (orphan) and those who have lost a spouse (widow/widower), there is no word in English for those who have lost a child. People often say this is because the death of a child violates the natural order. That parents should not have to bury their children. That life should unfold in neat, tidy, predictable progression from one generation to the next. I mentioned this to my husband last week. His response blew apart the whole argument. Being a parent, he said, always used to mean that you lost a child. When mortality rates were high and health care was lacking, the simple fact of bearing and birthing a baby meant that death was at your doorstep. Centuries ago - and still today across the world - the odds were that every relative in your family and every parent in your community had experienced the death of a child: during pregnancy, in childbirth, during infancy or childhood. This was simply the way life … [Read more...] about a eulogy for maggie and abby
