I’m mad. Spitting mad. Irate, outraged, furious, frustrated, livid, fuming. Angry doesn’t have enough synonyms to sum up the fury I feel at the most recent sex abuse scandals to shake the Catholic Church. I can heap adjective upon adjective, yet everything falls flat in the face of depraved evil and systemic injustice. The men who… Read More
Before we lost our twin daughters after birth two years ago – suddenly, tragically, publicly – there was another loss. Smaller. Earlier. Quieter. Five years ago we lost a baby to miscarriage. I wrote about this loss here and in my book Everyday Sacrament. Miscarriage was devastating. It upheaved what we knew about parenting. How… Read More
Here is today’s first reading. The promise of the new Jerusalem, part of the prophecy of Isaiah. Here is today’s Gospel. The healing of the royal official’s son, the second sign in the Gospel of John. And here is my whole heart, caught between the two. The same Scripture passage from Isaiah was read at our daughters’… Read More
Two years ago, I had two hearts beating beneath my own. Twins. I was overwhelmed most of the pregnancy, to be honest. Worry multiplies with multiples. How would we care for two babies at once? What would life look like with five kids? Deeper, darker questions slid underneath, slimy and squirming. How could I love… Read More
This post contains affiliate links. Three years ago, I said yes. (A small yes. More like a “sure, why not?”) I never expected it would change my life. When a friend asked if I’d be willing to check out another blogger’s new idea – to create an online ministry devoted to Scripture for Catholic women –… Read More
“Brothers!” He calls after them. As if he lives in a monastery, my mom laughs. “Brothers, wait up!” All day long the sacred word is intoned. That is the brothers’ room, the brothers’ school. Not just from the youngest looking up. The oldest gathers his confreres with a single summons: “Brothers! Time for dinner!” All… Read More
So what do you do after the hurricane hits? It’s a worthy question to ask. Because grief rocks everyone’s world, eventually. None of us gets out unscathed. (We just prefer to presume we might.) The question becomes: how do you find hope again, in life after loss? One unexpected gift of the past year was the… Read More
Pregnancy after the loss of a baby – following miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death – is a daunting prospect. From a distance I used to think “trying again” or “having another baby” must be a happy, hopeful, healing part of parenthood. (File this away under “Things I Didn’t Really Understand Until They Happened to Me.”)… Read More
What was that? Whatever else crosses my mind in morning’s first moments between sleeping and rising, there is always one thought, persistent and urgent. What was that? The intensity of grief’s earliest weeks and months has settled into a dull acceptance: this is our life now. We pack lunches, fold laundry, drive kids, talk about work… Read More
He said to me, “Mortal, can these bones live?” I answered, “O Lord God, you know.” (Ezekiel 37:3) I miss your writing, she texts me. So I went back and read a bunch of the old stuff. I miss it, too, I write back. The next day another friend listens. (My latest litany of lament.) “So… Read More