Almost Heaven

taking kids to church

James doesn’t want to go to Mass. At two and a half he doesn’t want to do most things, even the things he actually does want to do. “I not want to go to CHURCH!” His words start in a growl and end in a scream that echoes down my spine. What do I say…

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A Prayer for the Mental Load

A Prayer for the Mental Load

Come ever-present God and be with me. You alone know and understand all that is before me. Come help me trust in you.  Slow my pace to see you; quicken my senses to hear you. Guide my steps to follow you and your ways; let there be a cadence of grace with me.  I need…

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A Prayer For The Mothers

a prayer for the village of mothers

A Prayer For The Mothers Who show up to the playground Armed with pretzels and patience Ready for whatever the day brings Unafraid of tantrums or tears Who gently rub sunscreen Onto their children and yours Calling, “Stay where I can see you!” As you sit nursing the baby Who offer an extra diaper When…

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Litany for a Mother with Intrusive Thoughts

Litany for a Mother with Intrusive Thoughts

O Infinite Father, you hold together all things by your word. You are creator of all the living and uphold them in your hand. By your very breath you sustain; You carry humanity. It is a holy and heavy task you have granted me— to care for and raise your littlest and most vulnerable ones, my…

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Marrow: The Memory in Our Bones

ancestors and motherhood

My mother is almost 80 years old. She still remembers her brothers. One dear child she held in her arms. She remembered his face. A beautiful child. He died at three weeks, and though she doesn’t remember why, I suspect it may have been the holes in the shack in which they all lived, an…

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Forget the Highlight Reel: We’ve Got To Go Through It

holding tight to love

In a few weeks, the college-aged young adults return home.  Some are simply sleeping here for a few nights before making a cameo appearance at the dinner table in between groomsmen duties and friend visits. Another is crashing here for two weeks before a summer-long internship, and another has staked her claim in the empty…

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The Rising Dough of Motherhood

rising motherhood

One Sunday morning, I woke up motivated. Mass at our parish is at 10:30, and with two toddlers, we can squeeze in almost an entire day before then, so after coffee was poured, muffins were distributed, and grapefruit was segmented, I started to make a loaf of bread to serve with dinner so it could…

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A Prayer for the Mental Load of Motherhood

A Prayer for the Mental Load of Motherhood

God—Perfect Parent, I carry my children—body, mind, heart, emotion, and mind. I carry the privilege of loving them well. I carry the burden of leading them well. When the mental load is tremendous, keep me from trembling. When the fears are many, calm my body systems. When the confusion is heavy, illuminate the next step.…

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Still, Slow, Stoke, Save My Anger

Still, Slow, Stoke, Save My Anger

Still my anger, Lord over milk spilled toothpaste wasted urine everywhere but the toilet Slow my anger, Lord when I am constantly interrupted my plans are thwarted my children misbehave and I feel embarrassed when I go without sleep without food without a moment of quiet Stoke my anger, Lord when children go without food,…

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