A Prayer for Autism

A Prayer for Autism

Creator God, Lover of diversity of all kinds, all made perfectly in your image. Remind me daily how perfectly we were made imperfectly. Help me. Help me ride the tides of my son’s moods. Help me savor the moments when his autism allows him to be as calm as the smallest waves, gently lapping over…

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Our Lady of the Living Room Floor

Our Lady of the Living Room Floor

By the low light of the baby monitor, she removes her makeup and recalls the shining successes of her friends as they gathered around the table that night: their new jobs and promotions, the annual review meetings, the conference next week in California. At the far end of the table, she’d sat silently recalling her…

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Supporting Yourself (Or A Friend) Through Miscarriage

miscarriage support

Miscarriage may be the most tragic or traumatic loss you have faced thus far. You might feel resentful or depressed; you may be struggling with your faith or in your marriage. You likely do not want to hear anyone else’s opinion on your situation or your grief. But you still have to interact with others…

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The Privilege of Friendship

intergenerational community

Gathered around the familiar multi-purpose, formica folding tables, I was the youngest of the group by at least ten years. Thursday Bible study had become a treasured time because of the insight, wisdom, and humor that these wiser women shared with me. One day, as a new session began, some younger women invited me to…

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Count Your Crosses: The Graces of Fortitude and Perseverance

caring for a special needs child

The cold had run its course through our whole family, taking down each man, woman, and child for days at a time, eating up the entire month of March in early 2011. While everyone else recovered, even five-month-old Teddy, Fulton struggled, weak and congested, long past the point when the other four were back to…

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Arm the Children

arm children with goodness

Arm the children Arm them with a passion for life and each other. Arm them with gorgeous humans who consistently show up. Arm them with some sort of relationship to the Divine. Arm the children with beautiful experiences and honest ones, too. Arm them with gratitude, an ample dose of optimism and hope, the ability…

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Loneliness, Jesus, and My Mothering Spirit

motherhood loneliness

I fell apart in my kitchen a few nights after another school shooting that left children and teachers dead. My kids were asleep, and I was washing the dishes when my tightly leashed emotions finally broke free. Anger, grief, and hopelessness washed over me and my soapy, shaking hands. The weight of the vocation of…

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Motherhood is a Prayer Breathed Out

motherhood is a prayer

Something I believe. . .⁣ ⁣Motherhood is⁣ Weighty and wonderful,⁣ Sometimes monotonous and boring,⁣ But also exciting and spontaneous,⁣ While being grievous and frustrating. ⁣It’s both stretching and structured,⁣ Straightforward and confusing,⁣ Tiresome and energizing,⁣ Painful and healing,⁣ Draining and lifegiving,⁣ Hopeful and despairing.⁣ // It’s playing⁣ the long game⁣ Though your finish line will…

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When Prayers Go Unanswered

mother's unanswered prayers for child

In fall 2021, I was bombarding heaven with prayers for my daughter, who was starting her senior year of high school. She had received a scholarship to play basketball at an elite high school, but she had spent most of her sophomore year sidelined with shin-splints and her junior year sitting on the sidelines with…

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Nothing but Mother

paradoxical motherhood

After birth, I am all at once at home and out of place. Every task now a luxury of time. I want to spend all day with the baby, I want to spend all day alone. This month I have done nothing but mother, my body given in service to a tiny human I just…

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Forgiving God Excerpt

questioning suffering

This is how I ask the question of suffering now. I used to ask about theories, about how God’s goodness could square with God’s love, how different properties of God made sense in light of suffering. I used to read books about suffering and cry and wonder, in a safely academic way, how these stories…

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Pruning My Idea of a Perfect Life

pruning idea of perfect

At some point early in our marriage, my husband and I took a shine to the idea of living on a self-sufficient homestead. After poring over books about the Catholic back-to-the-land movement, Catholic Worker farms, and homesteading, we thought we’d found the perfect escape from the normal 9-to-5. We had our plan: purchase a house…

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