Dear Neighbor: I Know You Don’t Want Me Here

motherhood amidst racism

The leaves fell from the sentinel-like silver maple trees that lined our streets. What were they guarding exactly? I’m not sure. But I loved them the second I saw them. November arrived, and with it, the promise of snow. Everyone retreated inside their homes while we, the new kids on the block, looked out the…

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Litany for a Mother with Intrusive Thoughts

Litany for a Mother with Intrusive Thoughts

O Infinite Father, you hold together all things by your word. You are creator of all the living and uphold them in your hand. By your very breath you sustain; You carry humanity. It is a holy and heavy task you have granted me— to care for and raise your littlest and most vulnerable ones, my…

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Marrow: The Memory in Our Bones

ancestors and motherhood

My mother is almost 80 years old. She still remembers her brothers. One dear child she held in her arms. She remembered his face. A beautiful child. He died at three weeks, and though she doesn’t remember why, I suspect it may have been the holes in the shack in which they all lived, an…

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A Prayer for Breastfeeding Struggles

Breastfeeding Struggles

God, this was supposed to be easy But it’s beyond hard. Everything hurts. We’re both weeping, this baby and me. We’ve tried everything, asked for help, begged and hoped and prayed. But each day gets harder, and my worries grow bigger. Help me to put us both in Your loving hands, To trust that You…

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A Prayer for the Mental Load of Motherhood

A Prayer for the Mental Load of Motherhood

God—Perfect Parent, I carry my children—body, mind, heart, emotion, and mind. I carry the privilege of loving them well. I carry the burden of leading them well. When the mental load is tremendous, keep me from trembling. When the fears are many, calm my body systems. When the confusion is heavy, illuminate the next step.…

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A Prayer for the Mess of Motherhood

A Prayer for the Mess of Motherhood

Creator God, Who gave life to dear ones, Who knows the deep pride and frustration that commingle in the heart of a parent, Who breathed life into dust, Who feels the sting of disappointment in your children. Pour out grace on my family. Grant me perspective to see the world from two feet high, From…

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Too Big to Be Told: Parenting Young Adults

parenting young adults

Even when they were small, I was nervous that time would march relentlessly on and I would find myself where I am today: my kids ready to fly the coop and me, unready. This April, a tall, sincere, young man asked for my daughter’s hand. My social media went frenzied, and everyone asked how I…

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Still, Slow, Stoke, Save My Anger

Still, Slow, Stoke, Save My Anger

Still my anger, Lord over milk spilled toothpaste wasted urine everywhere but the toilet Slow my anger, Lord when I am constantly interrupted my plans are thwarted my children misbehave and I feel embarrassed when I go without sleep without food without a moment of quiet Stoke my anger, Lord when children go without food,…

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For When You Relive a Traumatic Birth

For When You Relive A Traumatic Birth

Author’s Note: My first son was born almost fifteen years ago after a two-day, induced labor because I had severe preeclampsia. I was in and out of the hospital over the course of a month, finally spending a week in the high-risk section of the labor and delivery wing before they induced me. My second…

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A Prayer for the Mothers Who Have Lost a Child

A Prayer for Mother's Who Have Lost a Child

Abba Father, Our eyes are filled with tears, our bodies are weary, our hearts are angry, and we’re just so sad. We can’t seem to put together the incomplete pieces of a life that is so broken without our children.  Lord, help us to remember that You hear our cries, You see our tears, You…

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