Incarnation

Four times I've been pregnant during Advent. The first time. The second time. The third time. Now the fourth time. Four times I've teared up at all the hymns about waiting for a child.  Four times I've connected with the stories of Annunciation and Visitation in a tender and touching way. I know many mothers have shared the wonder of this experience, to be expecting when the whole world seems to be expectant, too. But this time around? I'm learning about the darker side. The vulnerability and uncertainty and mystery of what that first Advent must have meant. I'm in the midst of my most uncertain pregnancy yet. Double the babies. Double the exhaustion. Double the anxiety. I do not know what will come or how this story will end. I have to lean into trust and faith every single day. Honestly, I hate it. I'm not supposed to say that, of course. People like certainty with Big News. They want to hear that I am excited, that I'm feeling great, that everything is going … [Read more...] about expecting during advent: the tender and terrifying truth