I loved you truly, madly, deeply for three and a half years. And now you've abandoned me. It wasn't an abrupt breakup, not the kind that knocks the wind out of your chest by its utter shock and surprise. No, you snuck away slowly over time. Disappeared for a day or two, then returned again, feigning faithfulness, smiling slyly as you assured me you'd stick around this time. But as the weeks wound by, you grew more and more distant till you slipped away completely, only a fleeting glimpse of the stranger we once knew. And your leaving for good was just as harsh, just as cruel as any heartbreak I've ever wailed to mourn. I'm left to learn how to live without you. I tried to fling myself at the imposters and suitors that sometimes sauntered round to fill your void: Catnap, Car Nap, Quiet Time. But none of them could take your place, the beautiful hours of sweet silence we used to share together. Oh, Nap. Dear beloved Nap. You were my standby, my stalwart, my savior. Some days, you … [Read more...] about requiem for a nap
humor
a prayer for wrangling small children at church
God of infinite patience, Help me not to lose my mind at Mass today. When my son falls off the kneeler for the umpteenth time and howls at me indignantly, let me not say I told you so! but I love you. When the baby gets so fussy during the homily that no one within six pews can hear the priest, let me not sigh with irritation but distract him with smiles. When I miss every word of the readings (again) because I was fishing books out of the diaper bag (again), let me not brood about what I lost but notice the loving service I gave to the least among us. When I spend communion time pacing the floor of the gathering space, or trying in vain to nurse the baby in a corner of the cry room, or taking the toddler to the potty for the tenth time, help me to see that this is Eucharist, too – the gift of self in love. When that older couple behind us, the ones I worried about the whole time – that we were annoying them and distracting their reverent prayer and giving them … [Read more...] about a prayer for wrangling small children at church
stubborn alleluias
A few days before Lent, I sat my son down for a serious conversation over crackers. "So buddy, Lent starts on Wednesday. Lent is a time when we get ready for Easter. And during Lent we don't sing Alleluia. So we're not going to sing Alleluia for a while." His sea-blue eyes sparkled up at mine. His milk-smeared mouth turned up at the corners, and he cocked his head full of curls to one side. "Should we sing Alleluia?" he cooed. "No," I replied patiently. "I just said we're NOT going to sing it for a while. Because it's Lent. And we don't sing Alleluias during Lent. We save our Alleluias for Easter." "Should we sing Alleluia?" "No." "Should we - " "NO." "Sh-" "NO! I SAID NO ALLELUIAS DURING LENT!" Snack and failed attempt at liturgical catechesis both met an untimely end. The cherub scampered out of the kitchen and raced up the stairs, warbling as he went: "AH-AH-YAY-YOO-YA, AHHHH-YAY-YOO-YA!" The rest of Lent? You guessed it. Our house has been filled with Alleluias. Cranky … [Read more...] about stubborn alleluias
conversations with myself, 2:00 am & 8:00 am
2:00 am (after a night of naps): My head is going to EXPLODE. How is that baby screaming again? I cannot handle his yelling. I'm going to lose my mind. Didn't I JUST get up and feed him? Sigh. I could sleep for weeks and still not get enough. God as my witness, I am never going to have another baby. How is his brother in the next room waking up, too? I wish they would grow out of this phase. I can't believe how this time drags on and on and on. These days are so dang long. 8:00 am (after a shower and a cup of tea) My heart is going to explode! How can the baby be grinning like that? I cannot handle his laughing. I am going to lose my mind! Didn't we just bring him home from the hospital? Sigh. I could cuddle him for days and still not get enough. God as my witness, I want to have a zillion babies. How is his brother in the next room going to preschool soon? I wish they would stay little forever. I can't believe how the time flies. These years are so short. … [Read more...] about conversations with myself, 2:00 am & 8:00 am
