Guadalupe

Listen! Put it into your heart, that the thing that disturbs you, the thing that afflicts you, is really nothing. For weeks I’ve felt flutters. The butterfly kicks, the gentle brush of something turning. The quickening I’ve come to expect by this point in pregnancy. But tonight the movements suddenly felt so strong that I dared to try it. Laid my hand on the low curve of my rounding belly – and there it was. A kick I could feel from the outside. Should I have called him to tell him right away, that I could feel our baby now, that maybe he could soon, too? Should I have dug out the new baby book waiting on the top closet shelf, to record the date, to try and do better by marking milestones for #3? No. Instead I let tears spring small, then come quick. Because every turn this time around is tinged with sorrow as well as joy. Hope as well as fear. Please let this last. Please let this be. Do not let your heart be disturbed. Am I not here, I who am your Mother? I don’t want to … [Read more...] about a fluttering on the feast