"One act of thanksgiving made when things go wrong is worth a thousand when things go well." (St. John of Avila) My children's favorite grace before meals is - (ducks and blushes from theological embarrassment) - the Johnny Appleseed song. Oh, the Lord's been good to me / And so I thank the Lord For giving me / The things I need The sun and the rain and the apple seed The Lord's been good to me Maybe you've heard it. Maybe you hate it. Maybe you, too, live with small children in the frigid north and have to substitute "snow" for "rain" six months out of the year. Whatever. We sing it. Every day. Lord, have mercy. It started when the kids were toddlers, and I figured any warbling hymn of thanks was music to God's ears. Over the years? Of course it stuck. (Anything you hope won't stick is invariably what does.) I try to limit it to lunchtime, so as to revel in a richer repertoire of church hymnody for other meals (because truly, one can only evoke Girl Scout campfire … [Read more...] about this is why we give thanks
gratitude
when you do not want to give thanks
It's been a hard month, hasn't it? In our small corner, it was the shock of twins. The exhaustion of early pregnancy. The darkness of morning sickness. And the upheaving of expectations. But in the wider world, it was Paris and Beirut and Syria and so many million more places where the earth is broken and blood is flowing and bullets are flying and despair is overwhelming. How do we live in a world like this? How do we go on, let alone hope? Every night before dinner our family takes turns around the table, asking each other what we want to thank God for. Sometimes I wonder if this facile practice is worth the effort. It's a harmless affirmation, I know. A chance to smile at the randomness of a preschooler's prayers or a toddler's grins. But my God. If we think about what it truly means to give thanks, it is a daunting and dangerous practice indeed. Because thanksgiving goes beyond any easy offering of what makes us happy in the moment. Thanksgiving looks straight … [Read more...] about when you do not want to give thanks
my one and only gratitude post
A November full of thanksgiving. My Facebook feed is full of gratitude posts every morning and Twitter's a-twitter, too. Before the craze of Christmas consumerism kicks in, I'll take this cultural cultivation of "eucharist" any day. When we pause and whisper thanks. There are so many ways to say it, aren't there? Blessing, gift, grace, abundance. When I look back over the long arc of my life, I've known nothing but. Yet so many days were filled with complaining, griping, longing, lunging after more. Even now it starts to feel like this as my thoughts spin southward: if only I felt a little better, if only I weren't quite so sick, if only he were home more to help, if only I weren't so behind in work and writing, if only we could hire someone to clean the house, if only it were December already, if only I could trust that everything would turn out ok. Instead of the sheer gratitude of spilling out words that say yes. That say life. That say again. Because the gratitude of this … [Read more...] about my one and only gratitude post
father’s day from far away
He's 10,000 miles away tonight. When I finally get him on the phone, I'm a blubbering mess. After a week apart and two more to go, I didn't yet want to wave the white flag of defeat, but it was such a tough day - too little sleep, too many messes, two little boys with cranky tempers and only one of me, all day long. Eloquence fails when nerves run this raw: I suck at flying solo. But the truth was, we'd had so many good days this week: such delight at summer adventuring with my boys, discovering new parks and playgrounds, meeting up with lots of friends to fill our time as a trio. Which is why the spiral downward - from a difficult morning to a disastrous afternoon to a don't-ever-need-to-revisit-this evening - sank even deeper after enjoying such heights. C'est la vie, of course, these rolling ups and downs, how life with littles whiplashes from one extreme to the next in a matter of minutes. I shouldn't have been surprised. And yet what did surprise me was how quickly his … [Read more...] about father’s day from far away