My in-laws came over for dinner last week. An ordinary meal, nothing special. But when my son swung wide the door to greet them, their eyes lit up bright against the darkness. His grandma scooped him up, right there on the doorstep, and squeezed him tight; his grandpa grinned and ruffled his hair, waiting his turn for a hug and kiss. For a moment I felt a twinge of envy - what a gift to be greeted with such delight. Later that night I chatted with my parents on the phone, played to the cheap seats and tossed them a few cute-kid stories: the news from preschool, the baby's latest milestone. In the telling of one tale, I mentioned offhandedly how my son's teacher said he seemed shy at school, keeping to himself rather than talking with other kids. No surprise to his parents who know him to be a cautious soul. But my mother interrupted my story, gentle indignation coming through the phone line: No - he's just fine! What could those other kids really have to say to him anyway? I burst … [Read more...] about the sight of grandparents
grandparents
the women in my bones
I think about them a lot, my grandmothers. I never expected I would, at this point in my life. One died while I was in high school, the other while I was living abroad after college. My life today looks nothing like it did while they were alive, and as a teenager and young adult, I never thought to ask their advice on marriage or parenting or growing up. Yet their presence has become palpable since I became a mother. One had seven children, one had six. They raised their boisterous broods Catholic, kept beautiful homes, aged gracefully as matriarchs of their clans. My memories of them are thick with hugs, snuggled into sweaters and perfume, all warmth and smiles at the welcome of grandchildren. But the funny thing about grandmothers is that we never knew them when they were simply mothers. The messy part of parenting - the blood-sweat-tears of raising their own families through life's dreams and disappointments - is behind them by the time we enter the picture. The next generation … [Read more...] about the women in my bones
