I'm mad. Spitting mad. Irate, outraged, furious, frustrated, livid, fuming. Angry doesn't have enough synonyms to sum up the fury I feel at the most recent sex abuse scandals to shake the Catholic Church. I can heap adjective upon adjective, yet everything falls flat in the face of depraved evil and systemic injustice. The men who perpetrated such heinous crimes and the men who covered them up have made a mockery of the church I love. I cannot stay silent. In the weeks since the news broke, nearly every Catholic I know has struggled to digest and respond to the sickening scope of evil in our midst. But when I turned to Scripture for help and hope, what I found was clear. Holy anger. "Putting away falsehood, speak the truth, each one to his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun set on your anger, and do not leave room for the devil." (Ephesians 4:25-27) This Scripture leapt off the page on the night I read the … [Read more...] about holy anger
current events
when the hurricane hits
Last week we watched Irma, that swirling monster of a storm, with twisted stomachs and sick hearts. Friends we love live in Florida. We wanted them to be safe, their homes to stay dry, their schools and workplaces untouched. We read their anxious updates, prayed for protection, watched the weather forecast. It looked like the worst was coming. And then the storm turned. Everyone we know is ok. I am deeply grateful for this fact. And I am secretly jealous. Because this is the path I thought our story would take. It looks bad, it’s looking worse, dear God it looks absolutely horri – oh wait! Everything is fine. He came through surgery. Her chemo shrunk the tumor. They were able to have a baby. He didn’t end up on that plane. No one was home when the tree fell. The doctor was wrong. She beat the odds. Rehab worked. His job was safe. The driver swerved. Their twins survived. Instead, our hurricane gained strength. It swirled and churned and everyone prayed and prayed … [Read more...] about when the hurricane hits
the day we almost got hit
If we had left the house a minute earlier. If he hadn't gone off to fetch the soccer ball instead of getting in the car. If I had sped down the dirt road instead of slowing to take the icy stretch slower. We neared the intersection, that one by the entrance to the interstate that they put in a few years back. The one that makes me roll my eyes (why divert the on-ramp through a stop light? If they left it the old way, we could enter the freeway faster). The stoplight switched to green with plenty of time for our approach. I remembered how my husband laughed last night that he'd timed the light perfectly yesterday morning on the school drive and soared right through without slowing. "That never happens!" I should see how fast I'm going, I thought as we neared the intersection. To make him laugh if I ended up doing the same. Then suddenly, twenty feet in front of us, a car from oncoming traffic whizzed through its red light. Twenty feet from T-boning our … [Read more...] about the day we almost got hit
when you do not want to give thanks
It's been a hard month, hasn't it? In our small corner, it was the shock of twins. The exhaustion of early pregnancy. The darkness of morning sickness. And the upheaving of expectations. But in the wider world, it was Paris and Beirut and Syria and so many million more places where the earth is broken and blood is flowing and bullets are flying and despair is overwhelming. How do we live in a world like this? How do we go on, let alone hope? Every night before dinner our family takes turns around the table, asking each other what we want to thank God for. Sometimes I wonder if this facile practice is worth the effort. It's a harmless affirmation, I know. A chance to smile at the randomness of a preschooler's prayers or a toddler's grins. But my God. If we think about what it truly means to give thanks, it is a daunting and dangerous practice indeed. Because thanksgiving goes beyond any easy offering of what makes us happy in the moment. Thanksgiving looks straight … [Read more...] about when you do not want to give thanks
