Most nights, my bedtime prayer with our two oldest boys begins like this: Be still and know that I am God. I can't remember if it started when our litany of God-blesses maxed out into a mile-long list of everyone my kids knew: every teacher at their schools, every former babysitter, every relative they've never met, all the poor people and sick people and sad people and homeless people and all the children in the world. Or if it started when we needed something fresh after all the recitations of prayers they know by heart: Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be. Or if it started one late night when I was so tired that I simply needed to hear the words myself. Be still and know that I am. But no matter how we started, “let’s do meditation” has become the nightly plea for their bedtime routine. Who can resist that request, even at the end of an exhausting day? So meditate we do. Be still and know. Meditation for two squirmy kids is as simple as this. A few deep breaths to … [Read more...] about meditation, preschool-style
Christianity
a pentecost podcast
I try to make it part of my Sabbath practice not to blog on Sundays. But before today's feast is officially over, I wanted to sneak in and share a Pentecost podcast for your listening pleasure. Thanks to the gracious invitation of my friend Mihee Kim-Kort (whose blog at First Day Walking is hosting a beautiful series on The Meaning of Children), I got to dip my toes into the world of podcasting. And once I got over the deep-seated fear of listening to my own voice, it was actually fun. I got to ramble about finding God in chaos, making sense of conflict in churches, and trying not to lose my temper with the kids before dinner every night. Here's a snippet of my reflection on the holy fire of Pentecost at Mihee's podcast, This Everyday Holy: Ordinary Living in the Lectionary. I just finished reading Kaethe Schwehn’s memoir Tailings. The book weaves together a turning point in her own life as a young adult with the story of Holden Village, a Lutheran retreat center high in the … [Read more...] about a pentecost podcast
he is one
When you are the third child, especially the third of three boys, nothing comes new. Clothes, books, toys - all are gently loved or well-worn-out by the time they reach your hands. When you are still tiny, you accept this, of course. You don't know the world to be any other way. Your firsts are not earth-moving milestones. Your every move is not captured on video or preserved in photo albums. From day one your needs and wants cannot command complete attention. This truth is hard and humbling and healthy. For you and your parents. You are not simply a special snowflake. You are one among many. One year ago we met for the first time. My memories of birth are fast and foggy, snapshots of scenes. The first flash of him, wet and purple, his radiant heat in my shaking arms. His wavy dark hair and deep eyes squinting to see. My astonishment at his existence, the breathing weight of him on my chest, still startling after I carried him for nine long months below my … [Read more...] about he is one
joy, meet relief
Can you hear it in their voices? Once you cut through the baffled wonder and divide the nagging disbelief and set aside the stuttering astonishment, there it is: relief. He is risen. He is risen? He is risen! It's not a matter of simple punctuation. There are a thousand reactions to surprising news, and the Gospels cover nearly every one. Mary thinks she's talking to the gardener. John and Peter race each other to the tomb. Thomas can't believe his eyes. But by the end of each of their stories, there is always a category shift. The turn to joy. Happiness is often distinguished from joy. One is fleeting; the other is lasting. One is surface; the other is depth. But here's a difference I hadn't noticed until this Easter. Until I nursed the baby in the wee grey hours of Sunday morning, the baby who had slept all night, finally, blessedly, miraculously slept all night after months of terrible waking. Until my only thought as my whole self relaxed to let him feed was relief. And … [Read more...] about joy, meet relief
