He laughs now, this rolling plump of a babe. Chortles like a chuckling gentleman when I tickle under his chin. The laughter is intoxicating; we are all addicted. His doting brothers swarm the changing table for a chance to coax out another. In the instant when his round eyes brighten and his soft mouth opens to laugh, I am swept inside. Everything becomes this moment: joy that totalizes. As soon as the moment evaporates, I come back to present and realize: Once upon a time I did not believe I would feel the pure shine of happiness again. What grace of a second chance. What gift from grief. The still-joys. . . . The world is a wasteland, again and always. If you only trust the headlines and the handwringers. Meanwhile most of us go on, quietly doing the unnoticed work that underpins everything. Emails and deadlines. Laundry and dishes. Building and mending. Helping and forgiving. My mother used to tell me that every generation was convinced it was the … [Read more...] about come, the still-joys
Christ
7 reasons I love the Eucharist {the feast of corpus christi}
Bodies. Blood. Bread. Brokenness. My children bring all of this into my life. Care for their bodies takes up hours of my day: washing faces, changing diapers, giving baths. Boyhood brings bloodied knees, scraped elbows, tears and band aids and doctor's visits. Feeding our family is nearly a full-time job in itself: planning meals, buying groceries, cooking dinner, baking bread. And brokenness? Well, families don't have to go far to find proof of faults and flaws and failings. We rub up against each other all day long. The Eucharist has never felt more real than it has since I became a mother. This is my body; take and eat; blessed and broken - almost everything I have learned about the love and sacrifice of parenting is wrapped up this sacrament at the center of my faith. So in celebration of this Sunday's Feast of Corpus Christi (the Body and Blood of Christ), here are 7 reasons I love the Eucharist - and 7 favorite posts to explain why... It re-members me back … [Read more...] about 7 reasons I love the Eucharist {the feast of corpus christi}
joy, meet relief
Can you hear it in their voices? Once you cut through the baffled wonder and divide the nagging disbelief and set aside the stuttering astonishment, there it is: relief. He is risen. He is risen? He is risen! It's not a matter of simple punctuation. There are a thousand reactions to surprising news, and the Gospels cover nearly every one. Mary thinks she's talking to the gardener. John and Peter race each other to the tomb. Thomas can't believe his eyes. But by the end of each of their stories, there is always a category shift. The turn to joy. Happiness is often distinguished from joy. One is fleeting; the other is lasting. One is surface; the other is depth. But here's a difference I hadn't noticed until this Easter. Until I nursed the baby in the wee grey hours of Sunday morning, the baby who had slept all night, finally, blessedly, miraculously slept all night after months of terrible waking. Until my only thought as my whole self relaxed to let him feed was relief. And … [Read more...] about joy, meet relief
we care about the crumbs
In our family's parish, we eat bread. (This is not a theological discourse on the real presence; this is a simple recipe.) Each Sunday, instead of the thin white wafers traditional to Catholic communion, our priest breaks brown bread. It is held high in his hands for all of us to see and heaped high on silver plates for all of us to eat. It wasn't what I was used to as a cradle Catholic. But I have come to love everything about this practice. I love that the simple bread is baked each week by members of our parish. It tastes like loving service. I love how our priests have to take time to break the wide flat circles into hundred of tiny squares. It tastes like holy transformation. I love that the Eucharistic ministers need the help of altar servers to hold the plates while they offer the Body of Christ. It tastes like living community. Most of all, I love what real bread requires of those of us who eat it. You have to hold it carefully in your hands so you don't drop whatever … [Read more...] about we care about the crumbs
