Before I had children, I had a hazy image of life with kids. I don't think I idealized it as pure ease and smooth delight, but the montage of pictures that would flash through my mind looked much more like parenting's "best of" reel. Taking them to the playground on sunlit afternoons. Chasing them laughing before bath time. Cuddling up on the couch with favorite books. Watching them learn to ride a bike. Spinning them around the dance floor at family weddings. My movie montage still sneaks into my head in nostalgic moments. I know exactly why our memories choose to cement the best-of as hard truth. Because the grit which grinds through most of our days is not what keeps us going. It's the glamour. I saw this desire in spades on social media in the days leading up to Christmas and New Year's. Pictures of grinning cherubs in matching Sunday best. Families gathered beneath twinkling trees. Perfect holiday dinner spreads and champagne toasts. No one shows the screaming toddler … [Read more...] about the grit and the glamour
calling
see what you have done. know that it is good.
He goes in to look at them. Every night before we shut the door to our bedroom and declare the day done, he goes to see the sleeping boys. Too often I play the part of the tired mother. I have been with them all day. I do not feel the need to watch again, especially now that they are finally peaceful, finally quiet. Sleep is sacred, besides. Some days I am counting the minutes until this moment. When the house is hushed and I can hear myself think. So I am not naturally drawn to join him. Most nights I let him go alone as I turn down the hallway to our room. I crave the calm and rest that beckons beyond the bedroom door. Sleep is calling my name. But once in a while I join him. I do not know why I decide differently, but I do. I turn from my well-worn ways and set down the laundry basket or the laptop or the pile of books I have lugged upstairs. I follow him silently into their room. . . . Everything looks grainy in the dimmed dark. I hover over each bed, holding my … [Read more...] about see what you have done. know that it is good.
on being and breaking
Two big announcements today. (No, I am not pregnant!) But another kind of gestation. A pair of twins. For my work with the Collegeville Institute Seminars, I'm at work on a book of prayers, blessings, poems, and hymns on vocation - a collection for congregations to celebrate the callings of all their members. I'm so excited about the prospect of helping pastors and ministers to bless the work and relationships that make up the vocations in their communities, from childhood through older adulthood, across professions and ways of life. And whenever I get the chance - in early mornings or late nights or Saturdays stolen away to Starbucks - I'm finally, slowly writing a book on prayers for pregnancy. The book that I've been dreaming of writing for years. The book I outlined two (!) pregnancies ago. The book that calls to me with each day's emails from readers who ask for words of hope and peace in their pregnancies. With these two books, I am called in two directions. Of … [Read more...] about on being and breaking
feed, tend, repeat.
(Meditations on today's Gospel. Typed with one hand, lamb in lap.) Do you love me? I say the same things all day long. Sit down. Use your fork. Don't hit each other. Say please. Chew with your mouth closed. Don't interrupt. Be kind. Say thank you. Hurry up. Take turns. Be gentle. Don't yell. Watch the baby. Help each other. Say I'm sorry. Let's clean up. I love you. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Feed my lambs. . . . Do you love me? I do the same things all day long. Feed the children. Wash the children. Make the meal. Clean the house. Comfort the children. Teach the children. Let the dog out. Let the dog in. Drive the car there. Drive the car here. Load the dishes. Unload the dishes. Wash the laundry. Fold the laundry. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Tend my sheep. . . . Do you love me? I think the same things all day long. I'm tired. I need caffeine. What time is it? We're late. I should do that. I should clean that. I don't know what to do. Help me. Deep … [Read more...] about feed, tend, repeat.
