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everyday parenting as spiritual practice

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blogging

ten years

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Exactly ten years ago this month, I started a blog. I told exactly no one. Not even my husband. My first baby was six months old. I was working part-time, overwhelmed and tired. I craved connection and community. I wanted breadth of thought and depth of prayer. I couldn't find anything like what I wanted to read. So I decided to write it. I started writing quietly, typing one-handed in the dark, plodding out post after post that no one read. I didn't care; I loved it. My brain started spinning again. After a few weeks I did tell my beloved. After a few months I got brave and shared the blog with a handful of friends and family. I never expected it to amount to anything. Just a place for me to practice writing, to ponder spirituality and parenting, part of my transition from theological studies to new motherhood. Then a funny thing happened along the way. Writing turned into a calling that changed my life. . . . Readers will ask me now how to get started. … [Read more...] about ten years

THANK YOU! (and a few FAQs…)

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Floored. We are so floored by the response to our news about the twins. Friends, family, strangers from across the globe - we're amazed and humbled to think that you're praying for us and our babies. (I still feel incredulous every time I make that word plural.) I can't thank you enough for your kind word and encouraging thoughts. I know we will need them even more in the months to come, and I'm holding each one of your emails, comments, stories, and promises of prayer close to my heart. Deep and humble thanks to every one of you. I'm not sure how to follow up a post that goes like HERE WERE ALL THE PLANS WE HAD FOR OUR LIVES AND NOW THEY ARE TURNED UPSIDE DOWN DEAR GOD WHAT WERE YOU THINKING so I figured I'd start with the questions everyone's been asking. (Got another you're dying to ask? Pose a question in comments and I'll do my best to answer. With the caveat that I'm no medical expert; just a bewildered mom who talked to doctors. Believe me, I'm as curious about this whole … [Read more...] about THANK YOU! (and a few FAQs…)

5 truths you taught me about prayer & pregnancy

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I'm writing a book of prayers for pregnancy. (Slowly. Painfully slowly. Almost like pregnancy itself...) I wanted to write this book partly because of my desire for a good (i.e., theologically sound, personally engaging, poetically written, honest and hopeful) guide to the spiritual side of pregnancy. But the main reason I felt called to write this book? Because strangers write to me every single day asking for prayers for pregnancy. They want prayers for trying to conceive. Or prayers for pregnancy after miscarriage. They've been struggling with infertility. Or they're dealing with unplanned pregnancies. They're women and men. Single, married, and divorced. Across the globe and across religions. And their prayers have become mine. I remember them every night before I go to sleep, the seekers who share with me the holy gift of praying with them through joy and sorrow, hope and fear. I remember their names and hold their stories close to my heart. It feels like a … [Read more...] about 5 truths you taught me about prayer & pregnancy

on being and breaking

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Two big announcements today. (No, I am not pregnant!) But another kind of gestation. A pair of twins.  For my work with the Collegeville Institute Seminars, I'm at work on a book of prayers, blessings, poems, and hymns on vocation - a collection for congregations to celebrate the callings of all their members. I'm so excited about the prospect of helping pastors and ministers to bless the work and relationships that make up the vocations in their communities, from childhood through older adulthood, across professions and ways of life. And whenever I get the chance - in early mornings or late nights or Saturdays stolen away to Starbucks - I'm finally, slowly writing a book on prayers for pregnancy. The book that I've been dreaming of writing for years. The book I outlined two (!) pregnancies ago. The book that calls to me with each day's emails from readers who ask for words of hope and peace in their pregnancies. With these two books, I am called in two directions. Of … [Read more...] about on being and breaking

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I’m Laura Kelly Fanucci. Mother, writer, wonderer. This space is where I explore mothering through writing. It’s where I celebrate how God shows up in the chaos of raising children. It’s where I love to build community with readers like you. Read More…

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thismessygrace

thismessygrace
If our daughters had lived, we never would have pl If our daughters had lived, we never would have planted this garden. 

There are pockets of beauty in my life today that could not have existed if they had survived.

Acknowledging this does not mean I accept their loss. Or that I wouldn’t trade it all to have them here instead.

But the grieving know this strange, stubborn, saving truth: that goodness can grow in the gaping holes left by the ones we love.

I don’t know any simple ways to make sense of the hard times in which we’re living. As a porous soul, I feel it all and it breaks my heart, even as I cling to what I know is true.

But loving and losing my girls has taught me that life is both heart-breaking and resilient, that surviving is more complicated than we suspect, that most people are walking around shattered beneath the surface.

Sometimes I can catch a glimpse of it, searing as sunlight: the grief in someone’s eyes behind their anger, the burden sagging their shoulders, the past that’s poisoning their present. Few things have transformed my life more than learning to recognize pain in others.

Grief is a long letting go of a life you thought you’d have. Most of us are carrying more of it than we realize—or remember when we’re dealing with each other (especially when we’re tearing each other down).

Go gentle today. Practicing compassion and generosity of spirit will crack open more of the world and its confounding struggles. You might lose the satisfying clarity you clung to before life broke your heart in complicated ways, but you will find more of God in the messy, maddening middle.

I have learned this much from the garden I never planned to plant, from a version of life I never dreamed.
Nearly 20 years ago (!) these crazy kids graduated Nearly 20 years ago (!) these crazy kids graduated from Notre Dame. Now we’re thick in the midst of life-with-kids, celebrating middle school & preschool & everything in between. 
 
Since June is a month for graduations & celebrations, I’m delighted to help you celebrate with @grottonetwork .

Grotto Network shares stories about life, work, faith, relationships, and more. Check out their videos, podcast, and articles to help you reflect on where you are in your journey.
 
Grotto Network has generously given 2-$100 gift cards to Bloomin’ Brands Restaurants (Outback, Carrabba’s, Bonefish Grill & more) to help you celebrate this month with friends & family! It’s a huge giveaway, because we all need to savor and celebrate whatever joy we can find these days.
 
To enter the giveaway, follow @grottonetwork and @thismessygrace and leave a comment below about what you’re celebrating this month. Tag a friend for extra entries (up to 3).
 
Rules: Open to the U.S. only. Entries will be accepted until 6/11/22 at 11:59 pm CT. The 2 winners will be chosen at random and announced on 6/12/22. Per Instagram rules, this promotion is in no way sponsored, administered, or associated with Instagram, Inc. By entering, entrants confirm that they are 13+ years of age, release Instagram of responsibility, and agree to Instagram's terms of use.
“How did you do this?” I want to ask her. “H “How did you do this?” I want to ask her. “How did you let your heart break a thousand times?”

I want to call my mother and ask her impossible questions, to probe her heart that held five children and let each of us go in the hardest ways. But I know what she will say, “It’s hard. But you’re doing a beautiful job.” She can’t give words to the deepest yearnings and groanings. None of us can.

I wish I could ask my grandmothers, each of them gone for decades now, each of them matriarchs who raised big broods of their own. I never got to know them as an adult, but I have heaps of questions: How did you do it? How did you not lose yourself or your way? Or did you, and that was precisely the point?

I want a whole book of answers to impossible questions, and none exists. So I send my thoughts to the mothers of faith whose short stories, mere snippets on pages, have sparked small lights to guide me along. To Sarah and Ruth, Hagar and Rachel, Mary and Elizabeth. Every unnamed anguish the holy ones carried, every treasure of love they held in their heart.

Is it any coincidence that birth often brings both cries and screams, laughter and joy?

We hold it all within us. We cannot give words to the enormity of what it means to mother.

I sit outside a coffee shop two blocks from my children’s school on a sunny afternoon, the last day of the year. I wipe away tears for the natural nostalgia, but I also feel the gutting grief welling up from my own wounds of motherhood to know a deeper truth: marking milestones with love and longing is nothing compared to the gaping loss of not having your child here to break your heart in a thousand tiny ways.

So I resolve again, a hundred times again, to let this vulnerability become the strength that keeps me fighting for all children to have what I want for my own: life, love, health, safety, support, opportunity, community, hope. This is how parenting asks us to change. To let the particulars of our lives stretch us to love more widely.

I once thought “to mother” meant to have and to hold.

Now I know it also means to let go.
Many of you asked me to save these suggestions I s Many of you asked me to save these suggestions I shared after the school shooting in Uvalde.

Remember: we can’t do everything, but we can each do something.

Just because we can’t eradicate evil overnight doesn’t mean we can’t take small strong steps toward change.

Any work for justice and peace is long and hard. But we can build this work into our daily lives in concrete ways.

Look at the children in your life. What would you do to keep them safe and alive?

Start there. Let your life and love lead you.
When women meet, the world changes. Today is the When women meet, the world changes.

Today is the Feast of the Visitation. A day when we remember the meeting of Mary and Elizabeth.

Two women pregnant with new life, blooming with prophetic power.
Two mothers called to change the world.

What would happen if we gathered together like this today?
How could the world change if we made Mary’s song our own?

“He has shown strength with his arm;
he has scattered the proud in the thoughts of their hearts.
He has brought down the powerful from their thrones, and lifted up the lowly;
he has filled the hungry with good things,
and sent the rich away empty.”
(Luke 1:51-53)

Imagine if we stayed in this holy space—not for a moment’s meeting, but for months together—to gestate the dreams God was waiting to birth through us.

Imagine if we let ourselves be filled with the Holy Spirit to shout out with loud cries.
Imagine if we lifted our souls with prayers of justice and joy.

Imagine if we gave each other strength and service, courage and compassion, as we kept asking how to answer God’s call in our ordinary lives.

When women meet, the world changes.

If you want to know how to fight for justice for your children, for your people, for this world, look to the Visitation.

The mothers will show us the way. They already have.

(Image from the “Windsock Visitation” by Br. Mickey McGrath, OSFS, commissioned for the Monastery of the Visitation in north Minneapolis.)
Here’s what I wish I would have heard preached t Here’s what I wish I would have heard preached today on the Ascension.

Right now is a time to be prophetic and pastoral, a time for each of us to ask how God is calling us to act.
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