epiph-a-ny : a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something It was supposed to be a practice session. She'd gone through the healing touch training and wanted to try out what she learned. I'd been sick for weeks, and she offered to come over one night, hoping it might help the morning sickness lift. But after she stepped back out into the winter cold and I wrapped back up in blankets on the couch, I stared into the fireplace and realized with absolute clarity. That it wasn't nausea or vomiting or endless exhaustion that needed healing. It was fear. Fear that we'd lose the baby again. Fear that I'd never make it to another delivery day. Fear that something was doomed to go wrong. All of a sudden I saw that the hardest part of this nine-month journey would never be a burden of the body. It was all in the heart. . . . epiph-a-ny : a Christian festival held on January 6 in honor of the coming of the Magi to the infant Jesus Christ "Mommy, … [Read more...] about epiphany
2013 was a fun blogging year for little moi. I got the chance to work with so many great writers and inspiring moms who helped bring these two series to life: How I Nurture My Mothering Spirit and How We Spend Our Time. I started writing more beyond this space, for Catholic Mom and Practicing Families and the blog for the Collegeville Institute. And - perhaps most importantly - I was delighted to turn a few blogging connections into "real-life" (as in, welcome to my messy house! and my wild kids!) friendships off-line. (To think I still owe all this to a crazy idea I had years ago when I decided to start a blog and tell no one.) Inspired by the "Most" Posts at Amongst Lovely Things, I decided to dig back through the past 12 months of blogging to unearth a few memorable moments in these five categories: Post with the most clicks: This is Heavy. But We are Also Strong. I loved that Blooma (a great resource for Twin Cities moms!) picked this post to rerun on their blog this week, … [Read more...] about most-ly: a year in review
He picked it up over Thanksgiving, the inevitable result of spending the week with two older cousins he adores. All their echoes of "Mommy" must have kept ringing in his head long after the plane touched back down in snowy Minnesota, because ever since then I've been "Mommy," too. And it takes some getting used to. I never meant to be anti-Mommy. It's what I remember calling my own mom in my earliest memory, so of course it's a name filled with love. But when it came time to babble at my own babies, Mama came more naturally. Maybe it was all those Romance languages bubbling around in my head, with their lilting "a"s and their sharing of these most basic words in every tongue. Maybe it was because its two-syllable cadence closely mirrored my own first name, and I could adjust more easily to the title (and the idea) of motherhood when it reflected what I knew best. Or maybe it was because it echoed my babies' own first words, the mouths of little ones full of repeating sounds that … [Read more...] about from mama to mommy
We're inching towards a day I dread on the calendar. The winter solstice: shortest day of the year. As a lover of light and warmth, I cringe at the cold, recoiling from the longest dark. When I worked outside the home, I hated these December days even more - commuting to work in the blue-black before dawn, driving home after the sun had already set. All the life seemed sucked out of the hours before I ever got a chance to enjoy them. Small consolations twinkle: Christmas lights flashing through dark neighborhoods, a thick cover of snow that glows luminescent all night long. But still I long for summer's bright yellow light and stretching evenings. Pulling tight the curtains in the kids' rooms to convince them it's time for bed even though their parents plan to sneak back outside barefoot once the covers have been tucked under their chins. But every year in Advent, a season of lighting candles and marking time, we lose sunlight hour by hour. It gnaws at me: how I have to release into … [Read more...] about the shortest days. the longest nights.