Remember that manuscript I told you about? The draft of a memoir, the story of our daughters. I wrote tens of thousands of words in the years after they died, words I never shared with a soul. Then I shoved them in a drawer and plowed into another book, two. Anything to hold off on the hardest story I had to tell. I pulled that manuscript out last year. On Instagram I told you how I dusted it off, skimmed through, heart sinking, and thought: ugh. No good. All wrong. I decided I had to let it go, trash it again, start over fresh. So I did. Started clean last spring with a brand new document, brand new folder, brand new ambition, brand new determination. Guess what? Wrong again. Turns out I couldn't read my own words with true eyes. One night in prayer, I told God I was ready to jump in and start this brand-new book—and clear as day, I heard one word. No. No? NO?! What do you mean NO? I was ready for this, I protested. I had a plan for starting anew, … [Read more...] about the wonder of wrong
Spirituality in Daily Life
the pitter-patter
Their feet crush me. Tiny toes curling, ancient reflex. Baby socks lost in the dryer like doll clothing. Toddler tiptoes to reach the sink. Preschool slip-ons for circle time. Sport shoes for season after season—cleats, sneakers, boots. I know their feet intimately. Kiss them at diaper changes, sweet antidote to stink. Bathe them in bubbles and dry them with duck towels. Wrestle on socks and shoes for years and years. Corral each kid and clip twenty nails, fingers and toes. Motherhood in daily details, mundane math, rote routine. But I never remember their shoe sizes; I am always shocked at the store, at their growth. When we brought our second son home from the hospital, his big brother’s feet startled me. Suddenly giant, boy-ish, behemoth. Overnight they had soared in size. I stared at his feet, disbelieving as he crawled into my lap to get a closer look at the baby. How had he turned into a toddler when I wasn’t looking? Half blessing, half betrayal. Today he steals my … [Read more...] about the pitter-patter
justice for us: Catholic social teaching at home
What does it mean to live justly in the world today? How does our faith invite us to work for peace and justice wherever we are - even at home? My friend Haley wrote a wonderful book on how her family embraced a counter-cultural lifestyle of seeking the Gospel more intentionally - The Grace of Enough: Pursuing Less and Living More in a Throwaway Culture. Inspired by her example (and wishing I could have read her book years ago), I've been reflecting on how Catholic social teaching has informed and inspired our parenting in big and small ways. I hesitated to share this because we struggle daily with living out these parts of our faith. (I'd rather tell you to go read Haley's book instead!) But what I loved most about The Grace of Enough were the practical ideas to start small in your own life. When I shared these thoughts on Instagram, many of you asked if I'd be willing to write them up - so voila! If you'd like to read Haley's book, check out the bottom of the post for … [Read more...] about justice for us: Catholic social teaching at home
how to talk to kids about hard truths
When your children encounter death in a personal way, you cannot protect them from pain. You can consult experts. You can rehearse what to say. You can pray for guidance. But eventually you have to sit down and have hard conversations. Over the years, we've had more conversations about death and grief with our kids than I care to count. But today when I hear our children talk naturally about death and heaven, I realize that we have done them a great service in having difficult conversations. They are conversant about loss and grief at age-appropriate levels. They are unafraid to ask big questions about God and faith. They know they can bring us any emotion without fear or shame. Of course, such tough topics were not tackled in a single evening. We have fumbled through many rounds of questions, wishing we could move on to safer, smoother subjects. But we knew the hard conversations had to happen. Today in the Catholic Church, parents are wondering how to talk with their kids, … [Read more...] about how to talk to kids about hard truths