Grief
A Prayer for A School Shooting
Again. Again. Again. Again. How long? How long. How long By what we have done And what we have failed to do, We have our children’s blood on our hands. Hear our cry, God of Justice. Heal our wounds, Prince of Peace. Help our brokenness, Spirit of Truth. We cannot live like this.Which is why…
READ MORE
Becoming Mama Bear: How losing my husband introduced me to a ferocious divine love
When our children were young, my husband Rob and I often took them for hikes in the nearby Cascade Mountains outside our home in Seattle. Home to approximately 20,000 black bears, Washington’s mountains required a healthy respect for wilderness, and we taught our kids how to do it. A hearty “Hey, bear!” alerted furry neighbors…
READ MORE
The Courage in My DNA
I grew up as an only child, born to a single mother. For most of my life, until I became a mom at 16, it was just me and my mom. She grew up in extreme poverty raised by a mother who had been raised in even more extreme poverty, and each of us had…
READ MORE
Complicated Joy
For all of the beauty found in celebrating the liturgical year, I find that marking milestones by these holy seasons and rituals has a tendency to make whatever experience that much more intense and emotional for me. Pregnancy announcements during Advent—potent. Witnessing conversion and Baptism at Easter Vigil—stick a fork in me. Gifts of selflessness…
READ MORE
A Prayer for Miscarriage
This prayer for miscarriage is featured in the book Pocket Prayers for Times of Trouble (Twenty-Third Publications, 2014). God of comfort, you who are mother and father of us all, hear my anguish at the loss of my child. My heart and body are broken, wracked with pain and grief. Let me bring you my cries and my confusion, my anger…
READ MORE
The Mystery of Love Persisting
I can still feel the waves of nausea that began to hit my stomach when I heard the news. My whole world was turning upside down, and I had no way to stop it. The voices in my head were swirling around like a plastic bag being blown by a cyclone. I was about to…
READ MORE
when hearts become ashes
Two years ago, I had two hearts beating beneath my own. Twins. I was overwhelmed most of the pregnancy, to be honest. Worry multiplies with multiples. How would we care for two babies at once? What would life look like with five kids? Deeper, darker questions slid underneath, slimy and squirming. How could I love…
READ MORE
the spiritual side of pregnancy after loss
Pregnancy after the loss of a baby – following miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death – is a daunting prospect. From a distance I used to think “trying again” or “having another baby” must be a happy, hopeful, healing part of parenthood. (File this away under “Things I Didn’t Really Understand Until They Happened to Me.”)…
READ MORE
This Is Why We Give Thanks
“One act of thanksgiving made when things go wrong is worth a thousand when things go well.” (St. John of Avila) My children’s favorite grace before meals is—(ducks and blushes from theological embarrassment)—the Johnny Appleseed song. Oh, the Lord’s been good to me / And so I thank the Lord For giving me / The things…
READ MORE
can these bones live?
He said to me, “Mortal, can these bones live?” I answered, “O Lord God, you know.” (Ezekiel 37:3) I miss your writing, she texts me. So I went back and read a bunch of the old stuff. I miss it, too, I write back. The next day another friend listens. (My latest litany of lament.) “So…
READ MORE
Seven Metaphors For Grief
1. The pale pink tulips are drooping, stems withered beyond saving. I carry their vase over to the sink, dump out the water, crush the stems into the compost bin. Absentmindedly I wonder aloud. “I really thought we were going to get more time with these.” As soon as the words leave my mouth, we are…
READ MORE
you can imagine. let me help you.
As newly bereaved parents, we hear this all the time. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I can’t imagine what you’re feeling. I can’t imagine what this is like. I can’t imagine. I understand this sentiment completely. People want to be respectful of the terrible loss we have experienced. They don’t want to assume that…
READ MORE