Grandmothers, Saints, and Group Chats: The Women Who Mother Us Through Motherhood
As a disciple of Jesus and a mother, I am surrounded by a cloud of biblical witnesses who, as mothers like me, lead me to the author and perfecter of faith (cf Hebrews 12:1). An undertaking as momentous as motherhood must be a team sport. Not only is the necessity of community and connection for moms borne out time and again in research, it is a spiritual model found throughout the Bible. For example, we meet Shiphrah and Puah, the midwives who assist Israelite women in childbirth and save their children from Pharoah’s murderous intent (Exodus 1:15-21). We also see Naomi assisting Ruth after she gives birth to Obed (Ruth 4:16) and Paul pointing to the work of Eunice and her mother, Lois, to raise Timothy as a follower of Christ (2 Timothy 1:5). And of course, we have the example of Mary and Elizabeth who encourage and care for each other during their miraculous pregnancies (Luke 1:39-80).
Yet my own cloud of witnesses consists not just of biblical women or recognized saints, but of so many women in my everyday life and personal history. They are the women who walk beside me on the journey of discipleship and bolster me as I try to do the same for my children.
Two principal witnesses in my life were my two grandmothers, who have now both passed away. They were sources of wisdom passing on culture, traditions, food, and family history. In my middle age, as my children reach the years when they are beginning to understand their own heritage and identity, I find myself turning to my grandmothers for inspiration and guidance in how to nurture bonds of love. I find myself wishing more and more that I was able to ask them questions, to hear their stories of raising children, and to learn the lessons I didn’t know I needed when they were still on this earth. More than anything, I am grateful that, in Jesus, we are still connected to each other through our communion with him.
My grandmothers’ love and care also lives on in the women in my extended family—aunts, cousins, in-laws—who demonstrate so many different ways to be a mom. The women of my extended family show up for me and my children: throwing the baby showers, sharing the stories of stretch marks and sleepless nights, cheering our accomplishments; and being near in moments of grief and struggle. In the case of my mother-in-law, it’s caring for sick kids, driving them to practice, picking out my perfect Christmas gift, and trying to feed us every chance she gets. They all demonstrate what it means to show up for someone with no strings attached, simply because I belong to them and they belong to me. They teach me God’s love and make it present in my life.
Another place I have found my cloud of witnesses is among the women who have been my mentors in ministry. These women prayed with me and for me while giving me advice and insight about how to best accompany others on their spiritual journeys. As professionals, they showed me what it meant to excel as a leader while still raising children who were compassionate and caring, too. They advocated for me and other women to have policies like paid maternity leave, flexible hours, and equitable pay so the gift of motherhood did not become a barrier to sharing my gifts with the Church. And they loved Jesus fiercely through all of it.
A most treasured part of my cloud of witnesses is a stronghold for any millennial mom—the group chat. Whether we need to complain about the cost of yogurt, send each other ridiculous memes, share our doubts and vulnerabilities, or pray for each other in the midst of grief and loss, the women in the group chat are down for all of it. They have prayed for me as I struggled with mental health, joined in for Zoom birthday parties, given me a bed when I was stranded in the airport, and spoken God’s word into my life. Our digital space has prefigured the new heavens and the new earth, connecting us across space and time for communion with God and each other.
With all of these women as examples, my own mother remains the first and most influential witness in my motherhood communion of saints. She carried me in her body, brought me into the world, and proceeded to love me with deep and abiding kindness every day since. She has listened, instructed, advised, tended, and occasionally admonished. She and my father passed on their faith in Jesus, my precious savior and truest friend. She has given me so very, very much and I am honored to be her daughter.
All of these women have made me a more whole and holy person. If motherhood is a team sport, they are a championship team. They help me run the race and inspire me to continue to pursue the Lord each and every day. God has been so good as to give them to me, this communion of mothers. I am forever grateful for each one and will persevere in the race set before me1, knowing they are by my side every step of the way.
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